Opposites attract
by Dustland-Fairytales
Summary: Even geniuses don't always understand the other sex. And Temari is even worse than the average woman. Or maybe he just can't understand her because she always whacks him on the head and thus kills his brain cells. ShikaTem Oneshot


„Troublesome…"

As Nara Shikamaru lay on his favourite spot watching the clouds floating across the sky, he tried to mentally prepare himself for what was to come this afternoon. Actually, the original purpose for coming here had been to relax. Unfortunately, Shikamaru found it unable to do so, for the picture of a certain, loud-mouthed, obnoxious and stubborn…._female_ kept invading his mind.

Shikamaru sighed. Temari hadn't been in Konoha for a long time – actually it hadn't been more than five days – but she was already giving him major headaches. When he had learned that she of all persons – _why, just why did it have to be her?_ – would be the one being sent from Suna to organize the Chunin exams with him, he had actually felt like fainting. Which was, of course, ridiculous and embarrassing and unthinkable, or, to put it short, totally out of question. After all, he was a man, and fainting was a female thing, that he would simply never _ever_ do.

At least he hoped he never would.

Instead, he had bit his tongue and returned home, all the while cursing his luck and this troublesome woman.

It wasn't that he didn't like her; he just didn't understand her at all. She terribly confused him. That might just be due to the fact that no man ever fucking understood what was going on in a woman's crazy mind, but Temari was even worse than the average woman. Worse than Tsunade, worse than his mother, worse than Ino – and the latter was one of the most complicated women he had ever known. The only thing that helped him understand Ino a bit was that he had known her for ages, she was his teammate and one of his closest friends (which required a _lot _of patience on his part). However, after years of trying to figure Ino out, he had realized with some horror that no man would ever really want to know what was going in within her twisted mind. Troublesome, complicated woman…Shikamaru was sure now that he certainly did_ not_ want to know what Temari was thinking.

"Troublesome woman", he muttered and got up. He was supposed to pick her up at the Hokage's Tower at five p.m. and that meant he had only little more than ten minutes left to get there. And he'd better be on time, even though it was against his nature to rush through Konoha, or she'd definitely whack him on the head with this giant fan of hers. Temari obviously enjoyed that, as she did it frequently. Just like teasing him. And driving him insane. Damn, this woman was dangerous. If Shikamaru had had anything to say in this, he would have made sure no weapon was ever put within her reach. Even without weapons, everything about her basically screamed _"Danger zone! Explosives! Keep out!"_

So why didn't he just stay away from her, like he ought to?

"Don't pull such a face, crybaby!" Her loud, sharp voice interrupted his train of thought and brought him back to reality. "You're late", she complained.

"Uh…" Shikamaru searched for words, but couldn't find a clever retort. "No, you're early", he finally said sheepishly, because he had been on time – the problem was, the meeting had obviously ended earlier. _Great, Shikamaru, just great. Very intelligent response, really. _

At least he didn't gain another blow on the head. On the contrary, Temari was smirking at him, which made Shikamaru inwardly shake with horror and set off all of his mental alarm bells. This smirk usually meant she was up to something, and this something preferably ended with him a) being beaten up or b) making a complete fool of himself.

"Well", Temari began with a grin, "of course I'm early; unlike you I don't fall asleep during important meetings."

Shikamaru grunted and turned to walk away, refusing to answer. She knew Konoha well enough by now, she didn't really need a guide anyway, so…

He hadn't come very far until he heard her pleading voice behind him.

"Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"It's my last day tomorrow."

As if he wasn't aware of that. The thought of her leaving made him feel…strange. He should be happy to get rid of this troublesome woman, but he actually had to admit he had grown used to having her around him. Sometimes he even enjoyed her company. Which proofed that his mind, momentarily, didn't function correctly.

"Entertain me!", Temari demanded.

_Kami, help me!_

"I don't think I'm well suited for this job", he reasoned. "Why don't you meet Sakura or Ino or ….well, somebody else?"

"Maybe I don't want to", she said simply. "What are you going to do?"

"Cloud watching", he replied. Of course he had only just returned from doing so, but it was something he could do all day – and hopefully, it would scare Temari off, so that he could finally get some peace of mind.

Shikamaru heard Temari snort, but her answer was unexpected:

"Can we go somewhere where I can watch plants?"

That made Shikamaru stop short. Not only the fact that she hadn't complained about him watching clouds but…had she just said…

"You- like- watching – plants?" Shikamaru stared at her incredulously, emphasizing each word. Actually, it probably sounded more like choking than speaking, but he didn't care right now.

Temari gave him an offended look. "That's what I said, baka. Are you deaf?"

"You. Plants. Watching.", Shikamaru repeated slowly, still trying to get the picture of the fierce, explosive Kunoichi sitting on a meadow doing nothing but watching plants.

"Is there something wrong with plants?", Temari snapped.

"Uhh…no, plants are fine, I guess. I just wouldn't …well, whatever." Shikamaru decided it was better not to say anything else, in order not to anger her further. "And you're calling _me _lazy", he muttered under his breath, trying not to let her hear it. Unfortunately, this didn't quite work out the way he wanted.

"How does watching plants make me lazy?", she inquired.

"It takes a lot of effort to follow clouds with your eyes, while plants are so slow you never actually see them do anything. That means, in your free time, you're actually even lazier than I am", he explained and ducked just in time to evade the blow that had been aimed for his head.

Shikamaru sighed. Here she went again…

_Troublesome woman…_

_

* * *

_

**A/N.: I know some of you may have read this before - it used to be part of my Oneshot-collection _"The Lost Ones"_. However, I recently decided to make this a collection of Uchiha-related drabbles, so ShikaTem didn't a place there anymore. Since I didn't want to delete it, I made it a OS of its own. **

**Reviews are highly appreciated ;)**


End file.
